World has been surprised by Paul the octopus, also known as the “Oracle of Oberhausen,” has successfully predicted the winner of six World Cup matches so far. One day, a reporter from Malaysia, Ali, get a chance to have an exclusive interview with the Paul the Octopus.
Ali : Hello Mr. Paul.
Paul : Hello Ali.
Ali : Wow, u can talk! That is amazing! Cool!
Paul : Well, u know me. I’m very talented octopus.
Ali : Ya..ya..I can see that. So suddenly now u becomes famous. I would like to congratulate u.
Ali : Mr. Paul, first I would need to ask u to introduce urself.
Paul : Well, as u know, my name is Paul. I was born in London, and then I get to transfer to German. I’m not a human, I’m an animal, octopus to be specific. My name was taken from the title of a poem by the German children's writer Boy Lornsern: Der Tintenfisch Paul Oktopus. I’m color blind, and I can eat shark.
Ali : Wow, that’s great Mr. Paul. But why u want to mention that u can eat shark? To impress me? Forget it. I also can eat shark what? Plus, I can also eat u.
Paul : Kid what is ur problem?!
Ali : I’m kidding la Mr. Paul. Chill out. There’s no way I’m going to eat u, Argentina and German fans already booking u at the first place.
Paul : I should not be worried, this place is full with security.
Ali : Good for u. So I heard that u already making prediction of who will win the world cup title.
Paul : Yes. I pick for Spain.
Ali : Owh I see. Why u pick for Spain instead of Holland?
Paul : I cannot tell u that. It’s a very complicated process. I cannot easily tell anybody about that. That is my secret. American people call it TOP SECRET!
Ali : Ceh! Secret what. U think I don’t know ur secret. U just blindly chose the food at the box rite? Plus from my observation I saw that u keen to pick anything from the right glass of the boxes right? Top Secret my ass!
Paul : NO u are wrong! I have my own formula in choosing the winning team! That’s why all my prediction was all right so far!
Ali : Who are u trying to fool Mr. Paul-the-smart-ass-octopus? Have u forgotten that u made two wrong choices in the EURO 2008?
Paul : Owh, that one was because I’m not in a good mood. Otherwise I would make a right assumption! Hey, u just a reporter, u should respect me! I’m glamour now! Whole world know me! So u better be careful in choosing ur words!
Ali : Yes..yes..I’m sorry animal.
Paul : Don’t call me that!
Ali : Call u what?
Paul : Animal!
Ali : But u are animal what?
Paul : I don’t care! Just don’t call me that! Come on, what’s ur next question?! Make it fast! I got no time for idiot like u!
Ali : Woo, so arrogant. Why u in rush Mr. Paul? What are u so busy with? What are u going to do next? Swimming? Haha.
Paul : Damn it! It’s not ur problem!
Ali : Okay..okay.. I’m sorry Mr. Paul. So what else is ur prediction instead of Spain?
Paul : Well, after I apply my secret formula which is very hard for me to do it, I managed to predict that German gonna win for the third place.
Ali : Shit! U even picks the third place?! Why FIFA is wasting so much money in organizing the world cup?! Why don’t they just let u animal decide the winners and the cup should be awarded directly!
Paul : Hey that’s nasty! U better stop calling me animal again kid.
Ali : Ya..ya.. I’m sorry. I just can’t control my emotion.
Paul : It’s okay, u just a loser, I totally understand ur feeling. But u knows what bothers me lately kid?
Ali : What Mr. Paul?
Paul : Suddenly there are another few kind of animal that comes out and make prediction just like me. Last night I got to know that there was a bird from Singapore who predicted the same team as me. If this keeps happening, I’m going out of business. I will lose all the fame. Shite!
Ali : Haha! At ur face! Shame on u Mr. Paul! First the octopus, now other species of animals! If this keeps up, the next world cup is gonna be a circus freak show. Haha.
Paul : Hey that’s insulting! Watch ur mouth kid! Don’t forget that the whole world salute me for my talent in psychic!
Ali : I’m sorry Mr. Paul. I just can’t take it anymore. Its bullshit to see u animals can be a psychic. It takes 22 legs for a team to win a soccer match and not eight and that too under the water.
Paul : People like u will never know the power of animal!
Ali : What power Mr. Paul? Power Rangers?
Paul : What is Powor Rangers?
Ali : Haha, u moron! U don’t even know who is power rangers! U should just killed urself Mr. Paul!
Paul : Hey Ali! What is ur problem? U wanna have fight?!
Ali : Okay, but how?
Paul : Come here in the water and let see if u still managed to breath after a minute!
Ali : Haha. U smart-ass wanna play a dirty trick on me. Why don’t u come out here and let see if u can still alive after a minute genius!
Paul : Shit, I don’t have time for u. At least I’m smarter than ur country leaders!
Ali : Wooo, that’s harsh Mr. Paul! No politics!
Paul : I don’t care! I’m sure I’m smarter than ur leaders! If I to become ur leaders, there will be no more corruption in ur country! No leakage of taxpayers money!
Ali : Bla..bla..bla..Whatever. I just wondering if u can predict who can get to eat u after this world cup finish.
Paul : And I wonder when I can predict for ur country to win the match in world cup competition. Ops, sorry, I forget, ur country never able to enter the World Cup, LOSER. Haha.
Ali can’t take it anymore. He had enough. He loves his country so much. He can’t stand to listen someone critics his country, especially from an octopus. So he run away and killed himself.
Ps : Don’t believe in Octopus or anything besides of our God. It’s khurafat.
And it is real stupid for anyone to believe with this Paulie, it has to be pure luck that a little octopus could pick the winner of the world cup, Spain will have a lot of pressure on it's shoulder's now and it’s all because of an octopus. Haha. But I don’t care coz I pick Holland to be a winner. Arjen Robben will be the hero!